Жутко громко и запредельно близко

Комментарии и словарь 

 И. Н. Беспаловой

Jonathan Safran FOER

EXTREMELY LOUD & 
INCREDIBLY CLOSE 

MODERN PROSE

УДК 372.8
ББК  81.2 Англ 

Ф74

ISBN 978-5-9925-1434-6

Фоер, Джонатан Сафран.

Ф74   
Жутко громко и запредельно близко : книга для 

чтения на английском языке / Д. Фоер  — СанктПетербург : КАРО, 2020.  — 416 с.  — (Modern Рrose).

ISBN 978-5-9925-1434-6.

Трогательная история рассказана от лица 9-летнего 

мальчика, отец которого погиб во время теракта 11 сентября 2001 года в одной из башен-близнецов. В ней есть  
и интрига, и почти что детективный сюжет, и неожиданная развязка. Атмосферная, оригинальная, по-детски непосредственная и по-взрослому глубокая книга найдет 
отклик в сердце каждого, кто её прочтёт.

УДК 372.8 

ББК 81.2 Англ

Jonathan Safran Foer

EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE

Copyright ©2005 by 
Jonatan Safran Foer
All rights reserved
Published by special 
arrangement with Mifflin 
Harcourt Publishing 
Company
© КАРО, 2020

what the?

What about a teakettle? What if the spout opened 

and closed when the steam came out, so it would become 
a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do 
Shakespeare1, or just crack up with me2? I could invent 
a teakettle that reads in Dad’s voice, so I could fall asleep, 
or maybe a set of kettles that sings the chorus of “Yellow 
Submarine,” which is a song by the Beatles, who I love, 
because entomology is one of my raisons d’être3, which is  
a French expression that I know. Another good thing 
is that I could train my anus to talk when I farted. If  
I wanted to be extremely hilarious, I’d train it to say, 
“Wasn’t me!” every time I made an incredibly bad fart. 
And if I ever made an incredibly bad fart in the Hall of 
Mirrors, which is in Versailles, which is outside of Paris, 
which is in France, obviously, my anus would say, “Ce 
n’étais pas moi!” 4

What about little microphones? What if every
one swallowed them, and they played the sounds of 
our hearts through little speakers, which could be in 
the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboarded 

1 do Shakespeare — цитировать Шекспира
2 to crack up with — выводить из себя; смешить
3 raisons d’être — (фр.) причина быть
4 Ce n’étais pas moi! — (фр.) это был не я

For Nicole,

my idea of beautiful

down the street at night you could hear everyone’s 
heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone’s hearts 
would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods 
at the same time, which I know about, but don’t really 
want to know about. That would be so weird, except 
that the place in the hospital where babies are born 
would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, 
because the babies wouldn’t have had time to match 
up1 their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the 
end of the New York City Marathon2 it would sound 
like war. And also, there are so many times when you 
need to make a quick escape3, but humans don’t have 
their own wings, or not yet, anyway, so what about  
a birdseed shirt?

Anyway.
My first jujitsu class was three and a half 

months ago. Self-defense was something that I was 
extremely curious about4, for obvious reasons, 
and Mom thought it would be good for me to have 
a physical activity besides tambourining, so my 
first jujitsu class was three and a half months ago. 
There were fourteen kids in the class, and we all 

1 to match up — синхронизировать
2 New York City Marathon — ежегодный забег в Нью-Йорке, 
который проводится в первое воскресенье ноября
3 to make a quick escape — смыться по-быстрому
4 to be curious about — живо интересоваться ч.-л.

had on neat white robes. We practiced bowing, and 
then we were all sitting down Native American style, 
and then Sensei Mark asked me to go over to him. 
“Kick my privates1,” he told me. That made me feel 
self-con scious. “Excusez-moi?”2 I told him. He spread 
his legs and told me, “I want you to kick my privates 
as hard as you can.” He put his hands at his sides, 
and took a breath in, and closed his eyes, and that’s 
how I knew that actually he meant business. “Jose3,” 
I told him, and inside I was thinking, What the? He 
told me, “Go on, guy. Destroy my privates.” “Destroy 
your privates?” With his eyes still closed he cracked 
up a lot and said, “You couldn’t destroy my privates 
if you tried. That’s what’s going on here. This is  
a demonstration of the well-trained body’s ability 
to absorb a direct blow4. Now destroy my privates.”  
I told him, “I’m a pacifist,” and since most people my 
age don’t know what that means, I turned around 
and told the others, “I don’t think it’s right to destroy 
people’s privates. Ever.” Sensei Mark said, “Can I ask 
you something?” I turned back around and told him, 
“ ‘Can I ask you something?’ is asking me something.” 
He said, “Do you have dreams of becoming a jujitsu 
master?” “No,” I told him, even though I don’t have 
dreams of running the family jewelry business any
1 to kick one’s privates — ударить в пах
2 Excusez-moi? — (фр.) извините меня
3 Jose — (разг.) Да ладно!
4 to absorb a direct blow — поглощать удар; смягчать удар

more. He said, “Do you want to know how a jujitsu 
student becomes a jujitsu master?” “I want to know 
everything,” I told him, but that isn’t true anymore 
either. He told me, “A jujitsu student becomes a jujitsu master by destroying his master’s privates.” I told 
him, “That’s fascinating.” My last jujitsu class was 
three and a half months ago.

I desperately wish I had my tambourine with 

me now, because even after everything I’m still 
wearing heavy boots1, and sometimes it helps 
to play a good beat2. My most impressive song 
that I can play on my tam bourine is “The Flight 
of the Bumblebee,” by Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov3, 
which is also the ring tone I downloaded for the 
cell phone I got after Dad died. It’s pretty amazing that I can play “The Flight of the Bumblebee,” 
because you have to hit incredibly fast in parts, 
and that’s extremely hard for me, because I don’t 
really have wrists4 yet. Ron offered to buy me  
a five-piece drum set. Money can’t buy me love, 
obviously, but I asked if it would have Zildjian 

1 to wear heavy boots — испытывать тяжесть на душе, 
«грузиться»
2 to play a good beat — помогать успокоиться; войти  
в ритм
3 The Flight of the Bumblebee,” by Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov — музыкальное произведение «Полет шмеля»,  
Н. Римский-Корсаков
4 to have wrist — набить руку; владеть запястьем (в игре 
на тамбурине)

cymbals1. He said, “Whatever you want,” and 
then he took my yo-yo off my desk and started to 
walk the dog with it2. I know he just wanted to be 
friendly, but it made me incredibly angry. “Yo-yo 
moi!” I told him, grabbing it back3. What I really 
wanted to tell him was “You’re not my dad, and 
you never will be.”

Isn’t it so weird how the number of dead people 

is increasing even though the earth stays the same 
size, so that one day there isn’t going to be room to 
bury anyone anymore? For my ninth birthday last 
year, Grandma gave me a subscription to National 
Geographic, which she calls “the National Geographic.” She also gave me a white blazer, because  
I only wear white clothes, and it’s too big to wear so 
it will last me a long time. She also gave me Grandpa’s camera, which I loved for two reasons. I asked 
why he didn’t take it with him when he left her. She 
said, “Maybe he wanted you to have it.” I said, “But 
I was negative-thirty years old.” She said, “Still4.” 
Anyway, the fascinating thing was that I read in National Geographic that there are more people alive 

1 Zildjian cymbals — тарелки для ударной установки 
фирмы «Zildjian»
2 to walk the dog with yo-yo — игра в йо-йо, когда игрок 
пытается раскрутить шнур параллельно полу, как будто 
шнур — это поводок, который натягивает собака во время прогулки
3 to grab back — выхватывать из рук 
4 Still. — (зд.) Все равно.

now than have died in all of human history. In other 
words, if everyone wanted to play Hamlet at once, 
they couldn’t, because there aren’t enough skulls!

So what about skyscrapers for dead people that 

were built down? They could be underneath the 
skyscrapers for living people that are built up. You 
could bury people one hundred floors down, and  
a whole dead world could be underneath the living 
one. Sometimes I think it would be weird if there 
were a skyscraper that moved up and down while 
its elevator stayed in place. So if you wanted to go to 
the ninety-fifth floor, you’d just press the 95 button 
and the ninety-fifth floor would come to you. Also, 
that could be extremely useful, because if you’re on 
the ninety-fifth floor, and a plane hits below you, 
the building could take you to the ground, and everyone could be safe, even if you left your birdseed 
shirt at home that day.

I’ve only been in a limousine twice ever. The 

first time was terrible, even though the limousine was wonderful. I’m not allowed to watch TV 
at home, and I’m not allowed to watch TV in limousines either, but it was still neat that there was  
a TV there. I asked if we could go by school, so 
Toothpaste and The Minch could see me in a limousine. Mom said that school wasn’t on the way1, and 
we couldn’t be late to the cemetery. “Why not?”  

1 to be on the way — быть по пути

I asked, which I actually thought was a good question, because if you think about it, why not? Even 
though I’m not anymore, I used to be an atheist, 
which means I didn’t believe in things that couldn’t 
be observed. I believed that once you’re dead, 
you’re dead forever, and you don’t feel anything, 
and you don’t even dream. It’s not that I believe in 
things that can’t be observed now, because I don’t. 
It’s that I believe that things are extremely complicated. And anyway, it’s not like we were actually 
burying him, anyway.

Even though I was trying hard for it not to, it 

was annoying me how Grandma kept touching 
me, so I climbed into1 the front seat and poked the 
driver’s shoulder until he gave me some attention. 
“What. Is. Your. Designation2.” I asked in Stephen 
Hawking3 voice4. “Say what?” “He wants to know 
your name,” Grandma said from the back seat. He 
handed me his card.

1 to climb into — забираться куда-либо
2 What. Is. Your. Designation. — Чем. По жизни. Занимаешься.
3 in Stephen Hawking voice — голосом Стивена Хокинга. 
(Стивен Хокинг — ученый-астрофизик, страдавший от 
редкой болезни, амиотрофического латерального склероза, что не помешало ему совершить множество выдающихся открытий в науке. Стивен Хокинг изобрел свой 
личный аппарат, который заменил ему работу голосовых связок, но сделал голос похожим на голос робота.)
4 to ask in one’s voice — спросить ч.-л. голосом

GERALD THOMPSON

Sunshine Limousine

serving the five boroughs

(212) 570-7249

I handed him my card and told him, “Greet
ings. Gerald. I. Am. Oskar.” He asked me why I was 
talking like that. I told him, “Oskar’s CPU is a neural-net processor1. A learning computer. The more 
contact he has with humans, the more he learns.” 
Gerald said, “O” and then he said “K.” I couldn’t tell 
if he liked me or not, so I told him, “Your sunglasses are one hundred dollars.” He said, “One seventyfive.” “Do you know a lot of curse words2?” “I know 
a couple.” “I’m not allowed to use curse words.” 
“Bummer3.” “What’s ‘bummer’?” “It’s a bad thing.” 
“Do you know ‘shit’?” “That’s a curse, isn’t it?” “Not 
if you say ‘shiitake4.’ ” “Guess not.” “Succotash my 
Balzac, dipshiitake5.” Gerald shook his head and 

1 neural-net processor — процессор нейронной компьютерной цепи
2 curse words — нецензурные слова
3 Bummer — (разг.) невезение, «непруха»
4 Shiitake — шиитаке (вид гриба). Созвучно английскому ругательству “Shit!” — Вот дерьмо!
5 Succotash my Balzac, dipshiitake — (вульг.) Засунь 
язык поглубже в зад, дерьма кусок!